Sketch Sunday
March 08, 2026
A lot of ups and downs this week. Mostly down. Like most these days. But I found some joy. Let’s get into it.
Sadly, this was the scene on most of the news I was seeing this week. I don’t know about you…but that doesn’t look like “military sites” to me.
Next up…the “architect” of this fiasco. Little Petey will know what to do! He talks so tuff. I look forward to international footage of him sobbing at the Hague.
Next was one of the few things that made me laugh. The CEO of McDonald’s sat down to “enjoy” their newest offering…the McSloppy, we’ll say. I refused to learn the name. I don’t care. But the video is gold. This man took a bite that toddlers usually reserve for vegetables when told “you HAVE to try it. It’s good for you!” I don’t think it qualified as a nibble. Then he barely chewed and with all the fake gusto he could manage gave a “mm, that is…good(?). I’m going to go finish the rest off camera.”. Just an absolute masterpiece in the “Is that really the best take they could get?” category. Hence I was inspired.
Then there was the mixed bag of the week. Krusty Gnome got fired. But then Dumpty decided to look under a rock with “loyalist” scrawled on it in maga feces and found…the Markwayne. He will be the savior of the country, he will! Wait…strike that. That was a “misspoke”. (Seriously, he used the word that way.) He also challenged the head of the teamsters to fight on the Senate floor. I have not checked to see if he was a good plumber. I am going to guess he was occasionally outsmarted by a tricky U-bend though. Anyways I look forward to him screwing up SO BAD he may actually destroy the entire department that he has been put in charge of.
And finally, here’s a stupid thing I thought of that you can’t prove didn’t happen. The Netflix documentary produced by Spielberg The Dinosaurs came out this week. It is very pretty. There ARE a few facts that seem…not right. I may be missing some info…but they seemed like large misspokes. (DAMMIT! Now that moron has me doing it!) But I was watching and thinking about dinos and birds and spinosauruses. Right now if you look up “aquatic dinos” all you get are spinosaurs. Everyone knows mosasaurs and plesiosaurs and all the big fun scary sea creatures of the time were reptiles. But I have a theory that some of the birds did exactly what birds did later (eventually this also inspired wolf ancestors who became whales) in what I am dubbing the “Paintmonkey Pengunization theory©”. I think there were dino penguins!
I hope this look made you grin a little. Everything seems bleak. But there is still good and magic in the world. I hope you’ve found a little this weekend. (Like goofy thoughts of silly waddling fish eating dinos. Or war crime court karma.)
-The Paintmonkey